Diary of a Fat Knitter

https://instagram.com/p/1gCeykny4U/?taken-by=jac_attacking
budding trees
As it turns out, when your business is knitting and your hobby is writing, you spend a lot of time either on the couch or in front of a computer screen. And when you have to crochet 24 geek-a-long squares within a three-month period, you end up going from a size 16 to an 18, because who has time to exercise?

I’m sure there are tons of people out there (especially parents) who can relate to the “not enough hours in the day” plight. Sometimes it comes down between something like laundry or exercise. And you know you have to do the laundry or else you’ll have to wear your house-yoga-pants (you know, your favorite ones with the hole in the leg seam you haven’t gotten around to seeming) to the grocery store tomorrow. Then, of course, you have to stop crocheting long enough to cook healthy meals, because you know that if you start turning towards take-out you’ll balloon to a size 20 and won’t fit in your house-yoga-pants anymore. So exercise keeps becoming the thing you’ll do “tomorrow.”

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Don’t tell my mom or my doctor, but I was 100% willing to put off finding time for exercise until after we launched our line of sock yarn on June 1st. I’m comfortable in my body. But then my doctor informed me that I have a serious Vitamin D deficiency, which I’ve probably had my whole life. Couple that with my current lifestyle and I’m at a high risk for developing Type 2 Diabetes.

I can’t live in a world without cappuccinos and fancy cheeses.

It’s times like these that I wish I was as coordinated as the Knitting Runner, David Babcock. But if I tried to crochet and walk at the same time, I’d probably get hit by a bus or trip over the sidewalk and face plant. I mean, I might look like the super graceful type (see also the photo below), but half the time I can barely walk from the coffee pot to my desk without tripping over the rug.

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I know this probably shouldn’t be one of my favorite pictures Gina Myers took at our wedding, but it is. We look terrible, but it really captured our goofy side.

sock in progress

Enter my baby sister, Alena. Some of you might remember her from that time Megan-Anne and I made her model a hat made from Blue Sky Alpacas Extra Yarn. She’s working for us now, and somehow she convinced me it would be “super fun” to walk to the park. The plan was to discuss business on the way there and then knit socks in the park. We totally did that and it was a great time, except she forgot to mention how far away the park was… I don’t care what you say Alena, a 1.6 mile walk in that hilly neighborhood was neither quick nor easy.

Of course, it isn’t always plausible to take an hour or two out of my day to walk to the park. So I compiled a list of things I think I might be able to do while knitting:

  1. Attach weights to the bottom of my knitting needles so that each stitch is like doing a curl.
  2. Put the yarn on the floor next to me, so that the cat will steal it and I’ll be forced to give chase.
  3. Butt clenches?
  4. One of those electric ab shocker things as seen in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. Don’t worry, I’ll be safe and use wooden needles.
  5. Unplug the PS3 from the wall and attach it to a pedal powered generator, forcing me to peddle while knitting or risk losing Netflix.
  6. Finally let Megan-Anne have her way and approach TV Executives about a yarn based reality show, resulting in motivation born from the potential shame of having everyone I went to high school with see me on TV and know just how fat I got.

Other than the methods listed above, which we can all agree are super plausible, how do you guys find a balance between staying healthy and a hobby that puts you on the couch?

~Jac
Tonight on Bravo, “Hooked on the Needle: Hoarders Yarn Edition.” Will the girls agree on the fiber content of that mystery skein? Will their family continue to be crazy? Will they find #roguedemonhunterkitty’s stash of stitch markers? Find out tonight at 8/9 Central. 

18 thoughts on “Diary of a Fat Knitter

  1. kathrynrubidoux says:

    I’m trying to figure out a way to crochet while using an elliptical machine, but something tells me its not quite safe. Do you have a bike you can ride to that park? Even at a slow pace, it would cut the travel time in half and you still get a bit of cardio in there. Good luck, I need to lose weight too. My dressy clothes no longer fit.

    • Jacquline Cappuccino says:

      My husband got me a fold away stationary bike. We don’t have room in our house for anything else. Anyway, if I’m doing straight stitches that don’t require a pattern I can do it slowly. But crocheting gal squares, which was my biggest time suck, was impossible to do.

  2. Angieflibble says:

    Me too. Current ideas include: drinking lots of water to keep forcing me to go upstairs to the bathroom (steep stairs), parking at the far end of the car park for where I need to be and not using the car to go anywhere within 2 miles (unless I’m on my way home as driving past the grocery store on my way home from work to walk back doesn’t seem sensible)

  3. chari says:

    Perhaps you can learn from my mistakes. I became highly motivated to exercise after I became diabetic and lost 75 pounds in 6 months. I feel better (physically and emotionally) and am more productive but I will always be diabetic. The sad thing is, like you, I knew I needed to exercise but other things seemed more important at the time.
    You need to love yourself enough to take care of yourself to be around for the other people (like us) you love. Any exercise is better than no exercise. I found that if I start the day with a good walk (or a dozen trips up and down the stairs) it makes the whole day better. I can then sit and knit in peace. It’s a gift to me to be able to “just” knit instead of trying to knit and do something else at the same time.
    I have found the weight creeping back on and you have motivated me to get back to portion control. That ice cream was good but more energy will be better.

    • Jacquline Cappuccino says:

      Not including my love of cappuccinos and fancy cheeses, I’ve always been pretty good about what I eat. I love to snack on berries and eat homemade hummus with carrots and all that good stuff. I just have a problem finding time to move around.

      I totally agree with you though, Chari. Some exercise is better than no exercise. There’s nothing like a medical scare to motivate a person. Other than the silly list I have above, I’ve been working on small changes like sitting on a yoga ball instead of my computer chair, walking to the nearby post office instead of clipping my mail to the box, and other small things.

  4. thepogblog says:

    From experience, I can confirm that number two works well. Also having a cat that is jealous of your crochet hook means that if you get off the sofa he’ll hide it, resulting in a frustrating game of hide and seek… :/
    On a possibly more helpful note, I use the pedometer on my ipod and have got into competition with myself. The days I work in the office I walk a lot (it’s 1.5 miles just to get there!)….the days I’m at home I hardly move. But now I’m really aware of that so I make a conscious effort to move around (pacing when I am on the phone, putting the kettle on, going back to the computer until it’s boiled, walking back, adding tea bag and water, back to the computer while it brews etc, rather than standing like a lemon watching the water boil, brewing take place etc) and it gives me a really good sense of satisfaction to see that I’m achieving a bit more. My sister has now started using a pedometer, so I think there might be a little competition / encouragement between us now. Maybe you could try something similar with Alena?

  5. plutoniummuffins says:

    I spent years wanting to be a runner but never getting the motivation up to actually do it. I downloaded the “Couch to 5K” running app and ‘nearly’ completed it about ten times (by which I mean I did the first two weeks and then it started getting hard so I stopped). At the beginning of this year I signed up to a half-marathon so that I had to absolutely force myself to learn to run.

    I’m now at about a third of the way to the distance I need (I run about 7 km on my longest runs). I’ve lost weight, I feel better mentally and my family and friends are so proud. Even so, the motivation to go outside is so lacking. Even though I knew I should, I didn’t go out the whole of last week, so when I ran this morning I think I nearly keeled over with fatigue.

    Even though I’m ‘accomplishing’ my goal, it’s guilt that makes me go out eventually, not a desire to do it. My mum keeps assuring me that at some point I’ll want to go out – but I’ve now been in training for four months and haven’t reached that point.

    I guess the other thing you can do is start doing activities that don’t feel like exercise. If I could have a horse, I’d ride every day for the joy of riding…but then again, I wouldn’t have any spare money leftover for yarn. I used to cycle to work…and then I left my job and have been at home for the past year, and in six months put on a ridiculous number of kilos because I never really considered ‘my commute’ as ‘exercise’. It’s a difficult one, isn’t it?

    Maybe just do little things that don’t necessarily feel like ‘exercise’. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Try walk to work if you don’t normally, or park your car a few blocks away so you have to walk. Instead of going to the shop on the corner for milk, go to the next block down. I force myself to do 7,500 steps everyday (I have an app which counts on my phone, it’s called moves) and then I reward myself with half an hour of guilt-free knitting time. It takes a surprisingly short amount of time to walk that number of steps, especially when I’m listening to a good audio book, podcasts, or on the phone to someone I love (I use my walking time to catch up with family!) You can start building up to doing more if you think you want to once you feel you’ve got the motivation to get out of the house – I’ve realised it’s less about doing the exercise, but more about taking the first step of putting on my shoes and leaving.

    I wish you the best of luck – I don’t like that you’ve called this the diary of a fat knitter :P If you’re happy with your shape, you don’t need to change it! But if you need to improve your health, that’s a different matter. I hope you find balance and something that works for you. Maybe get an exercise bike and learn to crochet on it while watching TV?!

    • Jacquline Cappuccino says:

      Even when I was at my peak physical condition in my early twenties, I hated running. I still hate running. So, I understand how hard it can be to get motivated to go out there and do it. I’m more of an activity person myself. If I ever get time, I want to pick up hiking and taekwondo again.

      As for the use of the word “fat,” being comfortable in body also means being honest. I like my hair, and we can all call it blond, but when I stand in direct sunlight I’ll still be ginger. I’m comfortable in my 5 foot 2 inch, 196 pound body, and can find a list of politically correct things to call it: curvy, full-figured, etc. At the end of the day, it’s still literal fat around my middle. “Fat” is only a pejorative if we make it one. <3

  6. Talya says:

    How about a recumbent exercise bike. The seat is more comfortable than a regular bike, and with the exception of your knees going up and down- you are in the vertical sitting position, so ideally you should be able to bike AND knit? Maybe?

    • Jacquline Cappuccino says:

      I desperately wish I had room in my house for a recumbent bike! My husband got me a fold away upright stationary bike, since we don’t have room for anything else. Anyway, if I’m doing straight stitches that don’t require a pattern, I can peddle and knit/crochet slowly. But making gal squares, which was my biggest time suck, was impossible to do. Still, great recommendation! :D

  7. everydayhas says:

    Ok, so what really really motivates me to exercise is that I love food and eating. I’m a runner (stay with me…) and running makes my food taste so much better!! Especially days where I do a long run. I struggled with guilting myself into exercise for years; why did nobody tell me this??

    This is not about running – you hate it, don’t do it – but maybe you could make the same association for another exercise? Post-exercise, besides eating the most amazing food of your life, it also feels extra good to (a) sit down and do something quiet (knitting!!) and (b) lie down and get a really excellent night’s sleep. This works best if you get an occasional 1-hr “run” (walk? bike ride?) in every 7-10 days, I think. Something about the longer duration really makes a difference. Then you can just squeeze little walks in between, and not worry so much about the time for those.

    One more thought, have you tried yoga? There are lots of different styles. I lean more towards the ‘lazy pleasure loving yoga’ so if the yoga you’ve tried doesn’t fit that description, you might try again. Look especially for “relax and restore”, yin yoga, or some studios even have classes for fuller figured girls.

    I hope this helps just a little and you find something that works for you!! :D PS screw everybody from high school, we don’t care what they think.

  8. Viki says:

    Thank you for your honesty!
    I like your title. I find it so hard, that people look apologetically at me if I use the term “fat” on myself and try to find excuses for me. If I call myself curvy instead of fat, I still won’t fit into a 12 (which would be my wish). And “fat” is not the same as “ugly” (we just need to look into the mirror, there’s the proof).
    Maybe I’m a bit weired, but I’m thrilled that you’re my size (you’re my knitting-super-hero)!
    At the moment I’m trying to loose weight myself, but what’s hard on me is, that the kind of sports I really like are quite expensive (horse-riding – and, yes, that’s definitly sports; swimming – less sports for me, as I tend to stop it when it becomes exhausting).
    BUT – I found an app that I find quite useful (hey, 3kilos in one month), it’s “myFitnessPal” and it’s free (ordinary calorie counting, but that’s what works) and another one, that I didn’t really start yet (because I need to put some music on my cell for it) “Zombies, Run!” (yeah, it’s as cool as it sounds and no need to really run, walking works).
    My balance of a “sitting hobby” and excercise is, well, not quite the best. But normally I leave the indoors at least twice a day (not always in the daylight, which would be important for your lack of VD), and I love to go outdoors for a (small and slow) hike at the weekends.
    So, I wish you good luck, tell us how about your success,
    best wishes,
    Viki

  9. Denine C. says:

    I am having the same issues! You either dedicate a couple of hours to exercise and miss out on your knitting or you sit on your butt and knit until it’s numb. I am in the process of moving and ever since my last day of work I have been doing nothing but researching moving companies and supplies or knitting. Waiting to eat until later on at night and then eating some type of packaged nonsense to hold me for a few hours of knitting before bed. I’m definitely going to try a stationary bike as some of your commenters have suggested, but what about the abs? Haha. If I find a solution to that I will definitely share :).

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