Geek-A-Long News, Knit Life
Fairy Tales and the May Prize Winner
Have you ever gotten an email from your tech guy full of acronyms that you didn’t understand and then spent an agonizing couple of hours Googling the terms only to find yourself more confused than when you started? No, just me then?
Here’s the thing, I’ve always been a fast learner, someone who can pick up new skills with relative ease. As it turns out, my Jac-of-Many-Trades ability stops at fixing the back end of our website. Hopefully, Jed was able to fix the troubles I wrought. But, this is the lead up to a larger apology…
Some of you have noticed and messaged us about the missing May GAL winner post. It was supposed to be up on Wednesday. Today is Caturday. It’s no secret that Megan-Anne and I have been struggling to keep up with the everyday fun (and even necessary) blog posts for a while. The fairy tale of being your own boss and doing what you love is hard to enjoy when you’re staring at your website’s code, trying to figure out why the Monday Geek-A-Long Yarn flash sale isn’t auto updating anymore, and the mill just called to say that the yarn you’re in desperate need off won’t be ready to ship until well after your supply has run out and no amount of money can make it arrive any faster. Running a small business is hard.
Running a small business while dealing with depression is even harder.
My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for almost four years now. Instead of using our savings to buy a house last fall, we moved into a small apartment and used it to pay off hospital bills. I still have hope that one day we’ll have a baby, either with the help of science or through adoption, but it hasn’t been an easy journey.
In the beginning, I used knitting and crochet to help me deal with the pain. It’s always been therapeutic for me. But there was something about turning 33 this year that knocked me down into the dirt. I have to remind myself to enjoy the things I love. I can’t tell you how excited I was to start the Summer of Crochet series on Memorial Day. I’ve been talking about it with Megan-Anne since last August, and now I can’t muster the emotional energy to finish a simple amigurumi that I normally love crocheting:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BUrzUIXhmFq/?taken-by=jac_attacking
The series was supposed to launch on Memorial Day, but there was a problem with our SSL certificate that I needed to deal with and then Facebook told me someone else I used to know in high school is having another baby. Also, I feel as if Hulu should let me opt out of watching that stupid Clearblue commercial. All I want to do is watch my stories while I knit to try to forget about my broken uterus and they’re like, “Hey, want to watch a bunch of people getting the news you’ll probably never get every 10 minutes?”
Me: “No, Clearblue. I do not. Hulu, please deal with this.”
Hulu: “lol. No.”
Me: “SCREW YOU, NETFLIX 4LYFE.”
I’m embarrassed to say that all I have left is to make is Octi the Fancy’s top hat, and I haven’t been able to make myself do it all week. Today, my plan is to take a deep breath, remember that I have a loving husband and family, and watch Anne with an E on Netflix while I finish crocheting my lil octopus.
Long story short, what I’m trying to get at in this post is: For those of you that have emailed us wanting to know if everything is okay since you noticed that things are a little off, thank you for caring. Things are a little off. I am dealing with my depression now and attempting to get back into a healthy routine. As a part of that, the Summer of Crochet will launch next week and Megan-Anne is going to bring some more fun to the party on Monday by starting an audiobook club. She’ll be talking about her current WIP and book of choice, Codex Alera by Jim Butcher
This month my trusty random number generator chose milcham81!
I’m going with Ghost Rider made with the Geek-A-Long Yarn. We’re in the middle of storm season and this square has been with me through a couple of scares and cellar visits. Maybe it will continue to be lucky for me.
When I went through and wrote down all the names and assigned them numbers, I didn’t catch the last half about being lucky since it was underneath the square pic. The kismet of it all makes me smile. :D
Congratulation again to milcham81 and thank you to everyone for listening to me talk about my depression. I can’t put into words how cathartic it is for me to put a piece of it out into the world. If you are depressed, I want you to know that you are not alone. I’m here for you. Let’s craft together. Come make an octopus with me next week.
Love,
Jac
Hugs and more hugs. So proud of you for putting this out there. You are never alone. I just starting knitting again after a brutal six months of crippling anxiety. The GAL is actually what started to bring me out of it. So thank you for being your amazing self!
Thank you! And I’m glad the GAL was able to help you. :D
Jac, I am so sorry that you are going through this! I know there’s nothing to be said that you don’t already know – but hang in there!
Just knowing there are supportive people out there, who take the time to say something, is its own gift. Thank you!
My hope and prayer for you and your husband is that you are blessed with the joy of parenting. I have a niece who had invitro fertilization and was blessed with twins girls. It was a huge chance as she had fertility issues and her husband had a vasectomy after he divorced his first wife, so they did a reversal with no guarantees. A year later they had their babies. Always remain hopeful and God bless!
Thank you, Sharon!
This makes me love you a little more (which is a bit weird since we’ve never met, but so what, deal with it). I struggle with mild depression and at times quite severe anxiety and I know how hard it is to function, and you and Megan-Anne have taken on a lot and have done so much. It’s incredibly brave of you to open up like this and I am glad it helps. We will always be here to listen.
I don’t know how to crochet but I feel I might dig out a needle …er, hook … and join you next week.
Hugs from up north! <3
Thanks, singingsheep! One day we’ll meet in person and have a grand ol’ time together. Until then, ::internethugs!!::
Sorry to hear your story, Jac, and sending you my very best wishes! xx
Thank you! <3
Sorry for the pain, but we’re here for you when you need us. Geeks and knitters are strong like that. :)
And an octopus with a top hat? Sounds awesome. Count me in.
Thank you, Nicole!
Yes, Octi the Fancy has been my go-to present for new tiny humans for a while. No one can say no to an octopus wearing a top hat. :D
Thanks for sharing your story. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Play with bright, soft squishy yarn and your octopus is adorable. Makes me wish I could crochet. God Bless.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants to strangle Hulu when that stupid ClearBlue commercial comes on. I’m so sorry for all you’re dealing with, I feel for you. Thanks for all you do. <3