If you missed my introduction post to this series, you can read it HERE. To recap real quick, each week I am sharing my pandemic experiences in an effort to help others feel less alone. Escapism matters too, so we are also running a book club and knit-along. To go straight to the book club portion, which will contain spoilers for this week’s book (Grave Peril by Jim Butcher), scroll down to the next big header. If you’d like to skip straight to the KAL, scroll down to that section at the bottom. They are both clearly labeled so that you can easily find or avoid certain sections as needed. 

Last week, I talked about the idea that it’s OK to grieve the losses of creature comforts. (Read more here.) Missing what you had before the pandemic doesn’t make you a bad person and, most importantly, beating yourself up over it won’t help the millions of people in need right now. Today, I want to look at the importance of self-care during this time.

The images of salons opening up and people standing in line to get haircuts fills me with paradoxical levels of rage and guilt. One the one hand, I am furious at these people for breaking quarantine, state-sanctioned or otherwise, while there are still healthcare workers unable to access personal protective equipment (PPE). Just because there might be room for them in the ER now doesn’t mean they should be jumping at the opportunity to fill those beds. However, on the other hand, I am a little jealous. See also my at-home haircut. I refuse to go out and be part of the problem, but I am jealous of Karen’s new haircut, and that emotion makes me feel guilty and selfish. But, here’s the thing. Those insidious thoughts are normal reactions to a complex situation. If you have a little voice in the back of your mind like mine, wanting to know why you’re taking a bubble bath when there are essential workers risking their lives for minimum wage, don’t listen. That voice is fake news. It’s nothing but lies. If you skip your bubble bath, you won’t somehow be able to provide it to someone else. You are doing the right thing by staying home, cutting your own hair, and relaxing in your special lavender-scented bubbles. That little voice is actually a sign that it’s time to unwind and pamper yourself more.

Take the best possible care of yourself so that you can provide the best possible care for others.

In many ways, ignoring privilege is as harmful as misusing it. If you have the means to practice self-care during the pandemic, you also have the responsibility to do so. That said, as we cope with this new reality, the definition of self-care has to include making choices (even if they are hard) that protect yourself and others. If someone has the ability to stay home, and continue to flatten the curve, but chooses instead to go to the beach and sit right next to strangers, they are misusing their privilege. Likely, the image of that beach-goer made you angry. It should. Apply that same righteous fury to yourself when you catch yourself in a loop of feeling guilty for having enough, or for being healthy, or for being able to stay home when others have to risk their lives to work. Honor them by keeping safe, and by extension, helping to keep them safe. And this is where things get proactive. 

If you have the means to do so, you can purchase gift certificates from local small businesses that have had to close. These help them keep the proverbial lights on during the shutdown. Is your purchase likely to save the business? No, probably not, but if enough people buy them it will be. Because we are in this together. It’s easy to feel alone right now, but we are not alone. On our own, we can’t do much, but together we are mighty. All you have to do to see that is to look at the Geek-A-Long. One thousand $10 donations to Child’s Play adds up to $10,000. The individual donations are small, but together they make a huge impact. If you have extra food or the means to purchase extra food, you can donate to a food bank. Check-in with your local homeless or domestic abuse shelters, there are likely tons of items that they are in need of that you might be able to help with. Be a social distancing role model through your own behavior. I once read a quote that “peer pressure as an adult is when your neighbor mows the lawn.” Through your own shining example, create peer pressure for others to act right. 

In November, vote for an administration that won’t leave its people to starve and die, that won’t leave its states to declare bankruptcy or demand sycophantic praise from the media in exchange for PPE. You have so much power. But you are also a human, so tend to your needs whether that is a break from social media, a bath, or just a good cry over how you can’t go to Target. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you are paying attention to yourself and the world around you.  

If you knew you had to run a race tomorrow, you wouldn’t skip dinner tonight. So when that little voice tries to tell you that you don’t deserve health, safety, and comfort, tell it to go frack itself, because everyone deserves that. You having it doesn’t take it from someone else, it makes you better prepared to fight the good fight. Don’t play into the idea that privilege can only be transferred. Share yours, put it to good use, and remember that if you don’t put on your oxygen mask first, you’ll pass out before you can help anyone else. 

BOOK CLUB

contains spoilers form ‘Grave Peril’ by Jim Butcher

If you’ve stuck with me for the first two books, Grave Peril is where it starts to pay off. The Dresden Files have been coming out since the early 2000’s and a lot has been written about them. So I’m not breaking any new ground here when I tell you that this is the book where the series starts to find its voice. The ending of Grave Peril both sets the tone and introduces the primary plot arcs for the next several books in the series. 

I really wish that two-thousand-and-late me had written about these just so I could compare what I thought of it then to what I think of it now. Knowing how things play out with the Red Court Vampires and how important some of these characters become, makes reading book three a totally different experience than it must have been for me when I read it the first time. I didn’t start reading the series until the first four or five books were out, and I do remember that I swallowed them whole. I think I burned through every available book in about two weeks. That was a decade ago, and I had a lot more time on my hands. I’m going to do my best as we work our way through these books to not spoil future books in any given post, so if you have already read these, please forgive me for purposely omitting a few particularly juicy tidbits in this book that don’t come into play until later. That being said, if you are reading this having never read the future books in the series, pay special attention to Michael Carpenter, Thomas Wraith, and the gift Harry receives at Bianca’s ball. 

Michael is the perfect counterpoint to Harry. Where Harry waffles, Michael is resolute. Conversely, where Michael is crippled by his unyielding black-and-white perception of right and wrong, Harry is able to operate in the gray areas that are often required when dealing with true evil. Michael is a Knight of the Cross, chosen by God to smite evil with a magic sword and access to heavenly protections and powers. At face value, they make an odd pair. Michael frequently lectures Harry on his immoral ways and tendency to consult with Demons when he’s out of leads. Harry puts on a show of acting like he doesn’t like that, but clearly craves the kind of paternal attention that Michael provides. They are peers, best friends, but there is absolutely a father-son aspect to their relationship.

We first meet Michael at the start of the book when they must go rescue a nursery ward full of babies from a deranged ghost. One of the things I like best about Michael’s scenes is that Butcher really leans into the divine intervention that Michael is accustomed to receiving. About mid-way through the book Harry comes to Michael’s house because a demon (who it turns out isn’t a demon, but honestly that’s not all that important) is impersonating Harry and he’s worried that the demon will come after Michael’s wife and children. Upon realizing that Charity, Michael’s very pregnant wife, has left for the store Michael goes charging out the door to find her. Harry is shocked that Michael would leave the other children home alone. Michael rolls his eyes and throws open the door, and there is Father Forthill, standing on the porch because his car just broke down outside of Michael’s house. Father Forthill, who is one of the few others that knows about Michael’s holy calling, chuckles and asks if Michael needs a babysitter again. Michael never doubted that there would be someone on the other side of the door, literally heaven sent, should he need to smite evil after bedtime. 

Thomas really only gets a cameo appearance in this book, but trust me, he’s worth paying attention to. The bastard son of the White Court of Vampires meets Harry for the first time at the Red Vampire ball, and over the course of the next several books will become an important part of Harry’s life. He also moderates Michael’s impact on Harry by being on the other end of the spectrum. There’s no drug, crime, or page of the Kama Sutra that Thomas isn’t down for trying. 

At the end of the book, Harry’s actions set off a war between the White Council of Wizards and the Red Court. It’s easy to miss or quickly forget that just before all of the supernatural shit hits the fan, Bianca gives Harry a gift: A tombstone that reads “Here lies Harry Dresden. He died doing the right thing.” Bianca intended for him to die within minutes of receiving the “gift,” but of course that’s not how things play out. Harry does the right thing, and coincidentally does die for a minute or so later in the book, he does not yet need a tombstone. The stone comes with a plot at Graceland Cemetery, and Harry’s grave becomes an important location in the series. 

Before I move on to yarn stuff, I have a question for the group: Do other women walk around getting raging nipple erections all the time? Why doesn’t anyone in Chicago, the windy city, wear a bra? Why is Jim Butcher so fixated on describing women’s nipples becoming erect every time they have a feeling? Like, I’m angry most of the time these days, and my post-breastfeeding D’s still have not “strained against my blouse.” Not even once. 

YARN STUFF

I’ve got WIPs for days.

Blue Beetle Handwarmers, Clue 3

You can find Clue 1 and the abbreviation key in the Pandemic Parenting post and Clue 2 in the Creature Comforts post. For additional information on recommended yarn, needles, and gauge, please scroll the the bottom of THIS POST to find it. If you’re struggling with the optional beads and/or hate pre-stringing them, check out this quick and easy tutorial I posted on Instagram.

Instructions:

Break Color B; Join Color D. 

1 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K4, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K4. [K1P1]x5, M1, [K1, P1] to marker. K4, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K4. [K1P1] to end. 

2 (C) [K1P1] to marker. Sl1, K1, Sl1, K2, Sl3, K2, Sl1, K1, Sl1. [K1P1]x5, M1, K1, [K1, P1] to marker. Sl1, K1, Sl1, K2, Sl3, K2, Sl1, K1, Sl. [K1P1] to end. 

3 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K3, Sl1, K5, Sl1, K3. [K1P1]x5, M1, K2, [K1, P1] to marker. K3, Sl1, K5, Sl1, K3. [K1P1] to end. 

4 (C) [K1P1] to marker. K1, Sl1, K2, Sl2, K1, Sl2, K2, Sl1, K1. [K1P1]x5, M1, K3, [K1, P1] to marker. K1, Sl1, K2, Sl2, K1, Sl2, K2, Sl1, K1. [K1P1] to end. 

5 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K2, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K2. [K1P1]x5, M1, K4, [K1, P1] to marker. K2, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K2. [K1P1] to end. 

6 (C) [K1P1] to marker. Sl1, K2, Sl2, K3, Sl2, K2, Sl1. [K1P1]x5, M1, K5, [K1, P1] to marker. Sl1, K2, Sl2, K3, Sl2, K2, Sl1. [K1P1] to end. 

7 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1. [K1P1]x5, M1, K6, [K1, P1] to marker. K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1. [K1P1] to end. 

8 (C) [K1P1] to marker. K2, Sl1, K3, Sl1Bd, K3, Sl1, K2. [K1P1]x5, M1, K7, [K1, P1] to marker. K2, Sl1, K3, Sl1Bd, K3, Sl1, K2. [K1P1] to end. 

9 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1. [K1P1]x5, M1, K8, [K1, P1] to marker. K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K1. [K1P1] to end. 

10 (C) [K1P1] to marker. Sl1, K2, Sl2, k3, Sl2, k2, Sl1. [K1P1]x5, M1, K9, [K1, P1] to marker. Sl1, K2, Sl2, k3, Sl2, k2, Sl1. [K1P1] to end. 

11 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K2, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K2. [K1P1]x5, M1, K10, [K1, P1] to marker. K2, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K2. [K1P1] to end. 

12 (C) [K1P1] to marker. Sl2, K2, Sl2, K1, Sl2, K2, Sl2. [K1P1]x5, M1, K11, [K1, P1] to marker. Sl2, K2, Sl2, K1, Sl2, K2, Sl2. [K1P1] to end. 

13 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K3, Sl1, K5, Sl1, K3. [K1P1]x5, M1, K12, [K1, P1] to marker. K3, Sl1, K5, Sl1, K3. [K1P1] to end. 

14 (C) [K1P1] to marker. K1, Sl2, K2, Sl3, K2, Sl2, K1. [K1P1]x5, M1, K13, [K1, P1] to marker. K1, Sl2, K2, Sl3, K2, Sl2, K1. [K1P1] to end. 

15 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K4, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K4. [K1P1]x5, M1, K14, [K1, P1] to marker. K4, Sl1, K3, Sl1, K4. [K1P1] to end. 

16 (C) [K1P1] to marker. Sl2, K1, Sl1, K5, Sl1, K1, Sl2. [K1P1]x5, M1, K15, [K1, P1] to marker. Sl2, K1, Sl1, K5, Sl1, K1, Sl2. [K1P1] to end. 

17 (D) [K1P1] to marker. K6, Sl1, K6. [K1P1]x5, M1, K16, [K1, P1] to marker. K6, Sl1, K6. [K1P1] to end. 83 sts. 

Due to popular demand, Jac has informed me that I will be putting the Blue Beetle Handwarmers on Ravelry as a full paid pattern sooner rather than later. It will be one convenient PDF with the coveted color charts. I guess some of you were very concerned that “eventually” meant “never”, and that’s fair. I’ve met me too. I believe she has it slated to release on May 29th, a week after the final clue is released. But, don’t quote me on that because we were very drunk during that “business” Zoom call. However, you can quote me as saying these posts will always contain the written pattern for free.

Enjoy knitting the third clue and reading Summer Knight. I’ll be sharing pics of this clue next week. Happy knitting!

~Megan-Anne

Not that you’ll see my daughter and her imaginary friend Pikachu any time soon, but if either of them ask, it definitely was a business meeting. I definitely wasn’t “hanging out with her Jac-Jac” without them. And we absolutely did discuss at least TWO business things during our video call so that no one could say I was a liar.

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