Knit Life
Oh hai
Jan
*tap* *tap* Is this thing still on?
When ones country is on fire, it becomes much easier to share truths that once felt insurmountable. My name is Jacquline Rivera, and I am here to tell you why Megan-Anne and I disappeared. And how we’re making our way back to you.
We’ve always been open about our struggles with clinical depression, but we’ve never shared that Lattes & Llamas doesn’t pay us a living wage. We got close once, but the pandemic put a stop to that. This whole time Megan-Anne has been grinding away in a corporate job she hates. (Hated technically. For Christmas, they gave her and 30,000 other people a pink slip.) Before our hiatus, she was dying yarn at night after Mabel the Merciless went to bed. She knitted during meetings. It became too much and she burnt out. She stopped finding joy in creating new colorways. She stopped dying more yarn. She stopped releasing patterns. And, for a brief amount of time, she stopped knitting altogether and got amazing at embroidery.
Meanwhile, my husband and I spent all of our savings and more on fertility treatments only to end up with no baby and the soul-crushing label of Unexplained Fertility. It is exactly what it sounds like: a big ol’ question mark. A 25 thousand dollar question mark. We would’ve recovered financially if the pandemic hadn’t wrecked us. I took on a part-time gig and did my best to keep L&L afloat. And just when I was losing hope, a book deal came along.
Much like that planner I buy once (or three times) a year that is totally going to fix me this time, it didn’t. We spent a year and a half jumping through more and more elaborate hoops to make the IP owner happy, only to have the deal fall through. The publisher that had contacted us was amazing and apologized profusely. They never understood why the IP owner didn’t like our work, and neither did we.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. The liaison for the IP owner was an idiot. We could’ve gone over their head, but at that point we no longer wanted to work on the project. Megan-Anne’s corporate job was consuming her life and I was the lucky owner of a shoulder injury that made my dominate hand useless for months. I still can’t knit like I used to.
I have three special powers: the (inconvenient) ability to metabolize pain meds at a super human level (just last week they had to shoot me with Novocain three times to put on my dumb crown); a Cassandra level of pattern recognition that made me believe I was psychic until I was 13; and the ability to knit with such an even tension, my work comes out looking blocked. Now I just have the two shitty, special powers. I’m still coming to terms with how there isn’t enough physical therapy in the world that will return the level of dexterity I once had.
Basically, just as all of our hopes and dreams were slowly being (re)shattered, Trump took over. If you’re not angry and depressed right now, you’re either a fascist or on some really great drugs. If you are the former, please don’t email us or leave a nasty message. The only thing I’m interested in hearing from you is what lead paint tastes like.
Which brings us to today…
Right now, Megan-Anne and I are sitting on her couch, working on our laptops while Severance plays in the background. (She’s putting in job applications while I write this.) Earlier this morning, we came to a conclusion: We don’t need a fancy book deal to come home. We aren’t prodigal daughters. We can tell you the truth and hope you’ll understand. We can claw back our joy of knitting.
I don’t know what’s next for L&L or what this place will look like a year from now. I paused the shop earlier today so we can take inventory and plan our next move. But I do know past-me made some stellar choices. We are sitting on a horde of undyed yarn that I purchased before the election, so our prices will stay the same. We have a pattern ready to go that was supposed to be part of the 2023 GAL and never got released. So, you’ll have a free sock pattern coming your way soon. Also, did you know Megan-Anne and I were in the Official Gilmore Girls knitting pattern book that came out over a year ago? Yeah. I think it might be time to celebrate that with a giveaway. They gave us spare copies and I think it’s time to share them.
If you’d like to enter the giveaway, you’ll need to fill out THIS GOOGLE FORM with your name and address. The reason why we stopped doing giveaways is because it was a nightmare to hunt down people to get their addresses. So, if you don’t trust me to have your address, don’t bother entering. Due to tariffs, this will be a USA giveaway only. Sorry. I don’t like it either.
Best, Jac
~Fuck Ice~
OMG, made my day to get your email. Miss you both so much. I am still working on GAL squares. It’s what keeps me going. I wish you both the best and truly hope that we are blessed with having you back on a regular basis one day soon. Take care.
Rhonda Phelps
OMG! I was just thinking about you guys last week! Wondering where you were and hoping you were ok. What a lot of stuff (life) you’ve been through! I’m happy you’re thinking about coming back to us! I love your yarn, your patterns, your nerdiness. I have a daughter who is a nerd, too. She doesn’t knit, but is crafty and goes to MAG Fests and loves games. You both always remind me of her. So happy to get your email. Sending you both much love and big hugs.
And Fuck ICE, Fuck tRump, Fuck Noem, Fuck Miller. They can all kiss my fat ass.
I wish you the very best, I really love your patterns and hope your bodies and soul will heal. As well as your country. Stay strong and wear red hats
I missed you guys so much, I’ve gotten so much joy from your patterns.
I’m glad to hear from you though I’m sorry that things have been such BS. I hope things somehow start to improve. Maybe leader of the resistance should be the next job, if you’re between positions currently ;)
I missed you both too! I just finished up my 5th or 6th pair of Blue Beetle mitts. I was just thinking it has been a long time since I’ve heard anything from you. You both really helped me get through the pandemic and I hope our knitting community can help us all to get through the sh** storm that’s happening now. I hope you always stay in touch. Best to you both!
Best of luck to the both of you! I look forward to seeing what you come up with when the shop reopens. Your yarn and patterns and blog posts have been an inspiration to me for years.
Your legions are still here! The Ravelry group is still active, members are knitting socks and blankets. I have been worried – not going to lie – so am very glad to hear from you. As someone who struggles daily with anxiety and tends toward depression, I hear you. I get it. Even when the world isn’t kicking me in the teeth. You are both strong, you are resilient, and you will get through this. Come, hang out, and talk if that’s helpful. We’ve all missed you both so very much. Much love.
Lorysa (aka Singingsheep)