For the last eight weeks, I have relentlessly talked to you about the Pandemic. While I reserve the option to continue doing that, I’m going to pivot a bit this week to move things in a slightly different direction. I’d like to keep the book club going indefinitely. This has been really fun. This is what I do on Tuesday nights now. I can’t deliver on a new pattern every four weeks forever, but I’ve always got something on my needles. So after we finish up the Dresden Files, I’ll probably start using the bottom space of these posts for a more informal knit along. Maybe revisit some of my older patterns, but make it more of a “this is what I’m knitting now” kinda thing. 

And while I want book-club to continue, I don’t want to talk about COVID-19 every week forever, and I doubt you want that either. So moving forward, I’m going to use this space to just sort of talk about whatever I want and get back to my blogger roots. This week, the topic is problematic fandoms. 

We’ve reached book eight of the Dresden Files, and it’s time to have a conversation about “problematic faves”. If you’re hearing that term for the first time, The Mary Sue wrote a nice article on it a few years ago. The basic premise is that we can love a fandom while still acknowledging the aspects of it or it’s creators that make us uncomfortable. 

The Gilmore Girls is a problematic fave. I freaking LOVED that show when it was on. And I waited with bated breath for the reboot when it came out. (How long ago was that? I don’t even know anymore. Time has no meaning to me at this point of pandemic living.) I didn’t realize it when I was watching GG when it first aired, but Rory is the worst! She’s really terrible. She quits anytime anything gets hard, she’s handed everything on a silver platter, she whines constantly, and I had seen her as some sort of pinnacle of teenage perfection. Additionally, the show regularly body shames for a laugh. So yeah. Problematic. Stealing from that Mary Sue article (which was quoting a comicon panel) a problematic fave is something you have to recommend with a caveat. It’s important to note that it’s something you legitimately want to share with the world because you love it and you think they will too, but you can’t do it in good conscience without a disclaimer. 

If you’ve been reading along the last eight weeks, you will not be remotely surprised to hear that the Dresden Files is a problematic fave for me. I love it so much. It makes me feel better when I am sad. I burst with joy every time Waldo Butters graces the pages of my book. I want to be Ms. Gard when I grow up. But I have to give the disclaimer that Harry Dresden is gross. I’ll talk about that in more detail in the next section since the reasons why he’s especially gross in Proven Guilty contain major spoilers. So, you can skip that particular section (below the next header) if you aren’t caught up yet. For now, I want to talk a little bit about forgiving yourself for any problematic faves in your life. 

We all have them. Hands down, the three most influential fandoms in my young life were the The Chronicles of Narnia, The X-men, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I could write you a dissertation on the problems in each one of those. Not even one dissertation either. I could come up with enough content to give each one it’s own 250-page write-up. It took me some time and growth to get to this point, but I can say honestly that I still love them all without guilt. And I can do so while fully acknowledging and discussing the things that make them problematic. When Mabel the Merciless is older, I look forward to sharing them with her, and I don’t feel bad about it. Actually, I feel great about it. We’ll be able to talk about what makes them bad and what makes them great. She doesn’t even know how good she has it. My generation had to learn these things for themselves. 

Four weeks ago, I talked about Self-Care in the Age of Corona. I passionately believe that indulging in fandoms is self-care*, and I’ve talked about separating my love of a fandom from my loathe of its creator before. What I think is important to add here is that you can separate your love of the actual content from your loathe of some of its messages. That doesn’t mean you should be an enabler or excuse bad behavior, but you can have both. I can love the Dresden Files and want to share them with you while still talking about the things that make me uncomfortable. And you should give yourself the same latitude. Harry Potter is a great example of that. 

*When done in a healthy way. Don’t be a dick to your fellow fans.

A while back, the world found out that JK Rowling is a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist). Basically that means someone that is fighting the good fight for women’s rights, but does not include trans-women in that or feel that they deserve the same rights and privileges as someone who was assigned female at birth. And that created a lot of discord in the Potterhead world. I was no exception. I had to ask myself if it’s still OK to gleefully identify as a Slytherin. Can I still read the books to Mabel? Can I still buy the merch? Can I still sell colorways inspired by the fandom? I concluded that I can still love the books and share them with Mabel. I’m a Slytherin, and I don’t have to hide that. I can be inspired by them in yarn and otherwise. But I did stop buying merch since that directly supports the author who I don’t want to give my money to. I can talk about the issues both with the author and the books (and they have their issues outside of JK Rowling’s political leanings), all without diminishing my love of something that brings me joy. 

We live in a digital world. The internet keeps the receipts, but not secrets, and more and more we find out things about creators that make us uncomfortable/angry. That’s a good thing. People are being held accountable, and we as consumers can make informed decisions about who to support with our dollars. Similarly, as we grow as a society and push ourselves to confront systemic issues with racism/sexism/classism/[instert your own]ism, we are able to hold ourselves accountable for the way we think of and interact with content. I think that’s amazing.

I look at the person I was 10 years ago, and she seems unrecognizable to me. There was so much shit in the world I was unaware of. I’m nowhere near “done” and frankly, I don’t think I’m anywhere near “woke” either. At a minimum, I learn something every week that I didn’t know about and am ashamed to have not known and perpetuated through ignorance. In this one circumstance though, that shame is valuable and positive. It pushes me to re-examine my thoughts and actions and to DO BETTER. It also allows me to redirect my privilege to be a tool for positive social change. But it can be easy to let that shame tell me not to enjoy the Dresden Files. And I reject that. I think you should too. Instead, keep on loving what you love and openly discuss any problems it might have. It’s a great way to start conversations about difficult social topics. It’s okay to love things that are imperfect. 

BOOK CLUB

contains spoilers form ‘Proven Guilty’ by Jim Butcher

If you showed up just for the book club portion of this post, I recommend reading the essay at the top of the post this week. It’s not about Pandemic stuff. I have been structuring my posts so that folks can skip over the “real talk” portion of them because I know that for some people, reading about the real world right now is distressing and not helpful/healthy. This week is an exception to that, and I did not discuss COVID-19 above. 

In one of the first book club posts, someone commented that they don’t find Harry as reprehensible as I do. I responded to say that my “book-reports” on the early books in the series are colored by something he was going to do in a later book. This is that book. This will absolutely not be the last time you hear me rant about Harry and Molly. 

Look, I get it to a degree. When I was younger, I was 100% into guys that were too old for me. I was the kid with a crush on my high school teacher. My husband is actually one of the few age-appropriate guys I dated. It’s worth giving a disclaimer here that I never dated a high school teacher. I don’t want to make this weirder than it needs to be. 

My point is that my issue with Harry and Molly isn’t that Molly is into Harry. It’s that I’m forced to read the inner monologue of Harry constantly sexualizing Molly. This isn’t an isolated incidence, and I hold Jim Butcher accountable. I can forgive Butcher for some of Harry’s shortcomings as him being true to the character. Harry is a self-proclaimed chauvinist. He wears that like a badge of honor. He’s a shitty friend sometimes, and he’s dealing with both real and metaphorical inner demons. I think some of that is actually very good writing. What I won’t forgive is his tendency to sexualize teenage girls. He did it with Inari in Blood Rites when she was tricked into trying to seduce Harry to death. He went out of his way to describe how young she was and how she was wearing a Winnie the Pooh night shirt, but also subjected us to a description of how short and sexy it was. 

Now, in Proven Guilty, we get our first taste of Harry’s ongoing fettishization of Molly. I think what bothers me the most is that it’s so clear that Butcher is so freaking proud of himself/Harry for the restraint Harry shows at not hooking up with her. Just as a friendly reminder, she is the 17 year old daughter of his best friend, Michael. Harry is literally old enough to be her father. He has known her since she was very young. He talks about her as a child, he sees her as a child, but he also frequently describes her maturing body, and basically expects me to throw him a parade every time Harry does not take advantage of her. I’m not saying that I don’t understand that men notice or are aroused by the bodies of teenage girls. I’m saying that I am not okay with it. 

Even I will admit that the scene at the end of the book where Harry dumps ice water on Molly and tells her it’s never going to happen was funny as hell. That’s a great scene. I just would have been more impressed if he hadn’t spent the last 150 pages reminding himself it’s not okay to have sex with the teenage daughter of his best friend, regardless of whether or not she has a crush on him. 

Setting that aside for now, this book has a lot to offer!

We finally get the long awaited conversation between Karrin and Harry about their feelings towards each other. I love that Karrin is the driving force behind that talk, and while Butcher mostly sucks at writing women, I think that was handled really well. We get to see the progression of the relationship between Harry and Thomas, and the trust that has grown between them as Thomas strikes out on his own. The main plot arc focuses on the black magic being used at a horror-enthusiast convention, Splattercon!!!™, but in many ways, that is there just to be a setting. The most interesting things are going on around that. 

Harry gets his first real glimpses of the depth of war between good and evil taking place not just in his world, but in the Nevernever as well. He reconciles with Ebenezer, and he comes clean to Michael about having picked up the Denarian coin (which left a shadow of a fallen angel behind inside his noggin). He begins to see that shaddow, Lashiel, as a real being, and he starts to cope with his relationship with her as he uses her knowledge and power more and more. Most importantly, I think, is that we get to see his growth as an adult and role model now that he is a Warden of the White Council. He’s struggling with the realization that the Wardens, and the world are not as black and white as he had thought. Ignoring the fact that he lusts after Molly, Harry is beginning to grow into the character that I’ve wanted him to be from the get-go. He’s gained an understanding of how much he doesn’t know, and he’s building a stronger network of friends. It’s also very clear in this book that we are seeing the version of him that has/is coping with his depression and trauma rather than being controlled by it. It never goes away, and that’s something that feels very real to me in these books. But he is also able to live a full life. 

I love the idea of him as a mentor to a young wizard struggling with having used black magic. And I think that being a teacher will be something that irrevocably alters the way he sees the world. That’s apparent just by the end of the book when he sees Ebenezer. At the start of the book, he wasn’t ready to forgive his mentor for having lied to him. By the end, he is able to see that these things are really complicated, particularly now that he sees through the lens of mentoring Molly. There are things he knows he will hide from Molly, and he can see now that there are things Ebenezer felt he had to hide from him. 

YARN STUFF

Summer Court Socks, Clue 4

You can find Clue 1, along with additional information such as recommended yarn, needles, and gauge, at the bottom of THIS POST. Clue 2 can be found at the bottom of this post and Clue 3 at the bottom of this one.

INSTRUCTIONS

Click on the “Download” button below to get Chart 2.

In this section you will pick up sts along the edges of your heel flap, and decrease them as you work down the gusset. 

Change to larger needles.

Always slip markers when you come to them. This should go without saying, but for the sake of sanity I’ll say it: don’t knit your makers into your sock.

Place marker for BoR. When working the gusset instructions, treat the waste yarn sts on your needle as regular heel sts. 

1: With MC and larger needles

• PM for BoR. Pick up and knit 12(14, 16, 18) sts along the edge of the heel flap, working up towards the instep. 
• PM (marker A, shown as MA in future instructions). Work row 9 of Chart 1 over 12 sts. PM (marker B, shown as MB in future instructions). K the 12(18, 24, 30) remaining instep sts. 
• PM (marker C, shown as MC in future instructions). Pick up and knit 12(14, 16, 18) sts along the 2nd edge of the heel flap, working down towards the heel sts. 
• PM (marker D, shown as MD in future instructions). K across heel sts to BoR. Resume working in the round. 72(84, 104, 120) sts. 

2: K to 2 before MA, K2tog. Work the next round of Chart 1 to MB. K to MC. SSK, K to MD. K to end. 

3: K to MA. Work the next round of Chart 1 to MB. K to MC. K to MD. K to end. 

Repeat 2-3 until there are 2 sts between the BoR and MA, and 2 sts between MC and MD. 52(64, 76, 88) sts. 

4: K2tog. Work the next round of Chart 1 to MB. K to MC. SSK, K to end. 

3: K1, remove MA. Work the next round of Chart 1 to MB. K to MC. K to MD and remove MD. K to end, and remove BoR. K1, place BoR. (BoR has been moved 1 st to the left). MA and MD are removed, BoR, MB, and MC remain. 

5: Work the next round of Chart 1 to MB. K to MC and remove MC. SSK, K to 2 sts before end, K2tog. 48(60, 72, 84) sts. 

Instep

1: Work as follows until you have completed row 16 of your current repeat of Chart 1: Work next round of Chart 1 to MB. K to end. After completing the round that is associated with row 16 of Chart 1, move on to step 2. 

2 – Next 7 rounds: Work Chart 2 to MB, K to end. 40(52, 64, 76) sts.

I’ll see you back here next Wednesday with clue number five of the Summer Court Socks where we’ll finish that toe and discuss White Night by Jim Butcher!

~Megan-Anne

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of trauma, I will fear no concussion.” – Harry Dresden, Proven Guilty by Jim Butcher

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