2020 Geek-A-Long: Gelatinous Cube

How does an evil lich keep their underground lair clean when adventurers keep dying all over it? The answer is easy; they obtain a gelatinous cube!

What does it do?

Well the Gelatinous cube slowly and invisibly crawls around the lair eating up all organic material that it can. It also is a handy way to collect fresh skeletons for all your reanimating needs and won’t become an unsightly obstruction when you look in to see just how many people have tried to plunder your precious goods or destroy your phylactery! It’s the best way to keep any dungeon clean. 

I had a friend once come up with a silly and ridiculous plan. He broke off a piece of cube, and put it in an empty bag of holding. When you put things in a bag of holding, nothing comes out, unless you want it to. So he kept putting organic things into the bag, feeding the cube until day after day, it was almost too large to fit in the bag. We didn’t know what he was doing, and he never really talked about it. “Sure, take the kobold corpses,” we said. It was weird, but we had stopped asking about things like that a long time ago. Time went by. Then, in a moment of dire need, he opened the bag and let rip a fire hose of pressurized cube straight into the enemy’s face. The entire table fell over laughing and the day was saved thanks to this mad wizard and his bag of ooze.

Whether you’re knitting, crocheting, or cross stitching this square, you can download the Gelatinous Cube pattern here. Instructions and charts for both knit and crochet are listed in the pattern. When you’re finished making it, don’t forget to Instagram your squares at us @lattesandllamasyarn with the hashtag #geekalong! Want to hang out with other people making the blanket? You can find moral support in the Geek-A-Long group on Ravelry here.

~Megan-Anne

Bag of Holding Filled With Gelatinous Cube is available in only select arcanist shops and is subject to DM approval. Some restrictions apply. No returns. Suspension of physical laws not guaranteed in all dimensions.

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