2020 Geek-A-Long: Cleric

Howdy, Geek-Alongers! Yesterday was my birthday, and I might’ve partied a bit too hardily. My brother-in-law, Kevin, kindly wrote today’s post about Clerics for you, which is excellent since I’ve both never played a Cleric before and am extremely hung over. Cheers!

I love playing Clerics. I enjoy being a support role and filling in the gaps to make the team complete. Clerics can do anything; I have played a creepy necromancer cleric, a holier than though war cleric, and a fireball slinging light cleric. I enjoyed each of them immensely. Some people assume Clerics are just healing spells and “Turn The Undead,” but they can be much more. Let me tell you about the greatest cleric I have ever played. It is time to tell the Epic Tale of Might-Thor.

It was 2000 and late and a friend of mine had a friend starting a new DnD game. My wife was going to be a rogue, my friend was going to be a dastardly sorcerer, and I didn’t know what I wanted to play. During 3.5 (Third Edition Dungeon & Dragons had a soft reset in 2003, and when people talk about it they call it 3.5), a cleric had to select two domains. Domains are supposed to represent the powers a god will give devout followers. I picked the two domains I had thought looked fun, Strength and Storms. But I didn’t see any non-evil gods that had both of those domains, so I made up my own. 

I played the Half-Giant Cleric Might Thor, follower of the god of Might and Storm, who was called Might-Thor. Might Thor had come down from his mountain home to spread the word of Might-Thor and show off his compassionate might. Might Thor would make proclamations before performing feats of strength like, “Let me show you what Might-Thor has taught me. He will show you what Might is for!” The other players had a great time asking about Might-Thor, and I loved making up a whole religion, one weird piece at a time. It got to a point where one of the other players asked if Might-Thor had a theme song. “Of course he does! 🎵Might-Thor….he shows you what Might is for. He’ll break open that wizard’s door! And he’ll bring down the storm! And he will fight for the poor. Because that is what Might is truly for.🎵”

At some point, an evil sorcerer put a fire trap on a stove in an orphanage and the rogue accidentally triggered it. Might Thor casted Gust of Wind to try and smother the flames. The DM said, “All the babies go flying out of their cribs and one of the caretakers starts freaking out!” Without a pause, I as Might Thor said, “And that is why you should always properly restrain your babies! It’s the second lesson of Might-Thor!”

Eventually, people kept coming to watch the game and marvel at the adventures of Might Thor and his friends. But soon it felt like Might Thor’s antics, while fun, were becoming a little distracting. The game had a lot of players and was a long drive for me and my wife. We wished them well and backed out of the game, leaving them with this silly character as a fond memory as they pushed ahead on their grim adventure. Never let anyone tell you that Clerics are just boring healers. They can always heal super well, but they never have to be boring.

Whether you’re knitting, crocheting, or cross stitching this square, you can download the Cleric pattern here. Instructions and charts for both knit and crochet are listed in the pattern. When you’re finished making it, don’t forget to Instagram your squares at us @lattesandllamasyarn with the hashtag #geekalong! Want to hang out with other people making the blanket? You can find moral support in the Geek-A-Long group on Ravelry here.

~ Mr. Kevin Llama & Jac

“Sometimes the gods will send their clerics to redeem and reform lost souls. I am not that cleric.”

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