2020 Geek-A-Long: Owlbear

My patronus is an owlbear. I’m not sure what it is specifically that makes them the penultimate chimera, but they are just the best. Neither a bear nor an owl is overly cuddly, but neither am I. And yet, I’m certain that if I had an owlbear, it would cuddle me. Not other people, obviously. It would eat my enemies for breakfast and probably take a little nip out of the vast number of people that aren’t enemy status, but have annoyed me. You know, like that cashier at the grocery store, who likes to put the meat with the veggies or smashes bread with cartons of eggs.

The great Owlbear is classified as a monster in the official D&D genus sorting, but I think they are just misunderstood. I’m not alone in my Owlbear enthusiasm; there is a decent amount of merchandise out there showing fanatical-Owlbear-love. But hands down, my favorite Owlbear homage is from the “ABCs of RPGs” by Ivan Van Norman and Caleb Cleveland, which tracks because a guy named “Ivan Van Norman” sounds like the pseudonym chosen by an Outsider, who got stranded here when a portal adventure went sideways. Now he’s stuck posing as a human at a boring office job, but he blows his cover a bit by riding his owlbear mount to work. 

“The ABCs of RPGs” was such a popular children’s book that it spawned spin-offs. A few years ago, the officially licensed versions, “The ABCs of D&D” and “The 123s of D&D” joined their source material on Mabel the Merciless’ bookshelf. The official D&D versions are still great, but the original is where it’s really at. That one is such a favorite of mine that for Christmas two years ago, Kevin got me a big canvas for the living room that simultaneously references, “E is for Enchantment. Do you like Light, Jump, or Blessed?” And mocks #Blessed, which is my third favorite thing to do after knitting and playing RPGs.

The crowning achievement in the book is: “O is for Owlbear. This one’s name is Chris.” Mabel doesn’t know what a meme is yet, but she participates in them. And a very popular one in our house is “O is for Owlbear.” Any time an “Oh” comes up in conversation, someone announces that “This one’s name is Chris” when talking about just about any object or animal. 

Kevin and I met Ivan at PAX Unplugged in 2018 and told him how much we love Chris. He was a very cool guy, and signed our books. But I stand by my Outsider theory.

Whether you’re knitting, crocheting, or cross stitching this square, you can download the Owlbear pattern here. Instructions and charts for both knit and crochet are listed in the pattern. When you’re finished making it, don’t forget to Instagram your squares at us @lattesandllamasyarn with the hashtag #geekalong! Want to hang out with other people making the blanket? You can find moral support in the Geek-A-Long group on Ravelry here.

~Megan-Anne

I cast #Blessed!

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