Nightmare Mode 2

Dear Nightmare Mode Journal,

It’s been a while. I know I should be sharing my seventh square right now instead of the second, but here we are. It’s been hard to get motivated to knit 156 Geek-A-Long squares. Not because I find the task daunting, but because it’s hard to put the time in to knit this intensely nerdy king-sized quilt for my bed when my cat keeps peeing on it. The bed, that is. Not my knitting. He would never disrespect yarn that way.

He is no longer Wesley the Rogue Demon Hunter. He is now The Pee-pee Prince.

We took him to the Vet a few months ago to find out why he’s been avoiding his box and occasionally using my bed instead. Basically, he has crystals in his urine, which makes it painful like a UTI. I can’t really blame him for that one. If I even look at an antibiotic, I get a yeast infection followed by a UTI. Of course, I don’t piss on my favorite napping spot instead of using the toilet, but whatever. I’m not mad.

I am, however, very disheartened. It’s hard to be motivated to make something nice to put on my bed when I know it might get peed on. I can’t treat a knitted blanket the same way I do my sheets. I’m hoping that the new changes we’re making with his diet will help, but I’m not holding my breath.

As a result, I have some negative emotions tied in with working on my Nightmare Mode blanket right now. I’ve given myself permission not to force myself to knit the squares when I’m upset. It’s supposed to be a fun experience, and I’d like to knit love into it with every stitch instead of anxiety.

To often, I feel like we, as crafters, power through projects out of a weird sense of obligation, even when we’re hating every moment of it. Knitting and crochet is supposed to be relaxing and fun. Megan-Anne and I have been discussing this a lot lately actually, and I believe she’s planning to do a full post about it later next week. Essentially though, the idea is that life is to short to finish that sweater you hate and know you’ll never wear. Rip the whole thing back and find another project for that yarn. While I won’t be scrapping my Nightmare Mode blanket, I also won’t be working on it as often as I had planned. And I certainly won’t feel guilty about it anymore.

What’s funny is, the moment I had decided not to feel guilty about it anymore, I sat down and knitted the final 20 rows of my Fire Nation square. It was actually earlier today. I was kneading my sourdough bread dough and thinking about the post I planned to write today. And right around the moment I came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t feel guilty anymore for being on square number two instead of number seven, I sat down and knocked that thing out.

A weight had been lifted.

By the time my baking session was over and I was well into my audiobook, The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan, I was binding off.

Also, if you’re a fan of Avatar the Last Airbender, you’ll probably enjoy a certain amount of irony with all of this happening while working on the Fire Nation square. It’s true what they say, everything changes when the Fire Nation attacks.

~Jac

Hello fellow Wheel of Time lovers who were hoping I’d comment about the series in my sign off. Congratulations, you were freaking right! I want all of you to know the fantastic news that I learned late last night: AMAZON PRIME IS MAKING IT INTO A TV SHOW. There will be a post about this later in the week, because I can’t fit all my thoughts and feelings into one sign off, but we can all agree that if we start re-reading (or listening to) the 14-book fantasy epic now, we stand a chance of completing our read through before the first episode airs in a couple of years.

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