The rodent has spoken! There will be six more weeks of winter. Bad news for those that have to go out into the elements, but great news for knitting. To celebrate, or commiserate depending on your feelings towards snow, we have a winter worthy sale for you going on now through Super Bowl Sunday on Fandom Yarn. If you’ve been waiting to place your order for yarn to start knitting your 2018 Geek-A-Long blanket, now is the time to stock up before the authorities are forced to cover the entire city with Crisco and I can’t get to the post office due to the impending football riots.
Just kidding, they’re only planning grease the poles.
I live in Philadelphia, so right now it’s Super Bowl fever. You can’t swing a cat around here without hitting an Eagles Jersey pop-up shop. I try to support my local sports team. Honestly, I do. But I live in a place where in anticipation of the Eagles winning the playoffs, the city greased all the poles so football bros wouldn’t climb them in drunken excitement and hurt themselves. There is now debate over whether they should upgrade from Crisco to gear-oil for the actual Super Bowl, since the Crisco didn’t really deter people. This is all fairly short-sighted. There is literally an annual greased pole climbing competition in Philadelphia. I don’t know that upping the grease factor is going to make any species of bro take a step back and say:
Well, I do declare! The constables have greased these poles so effectively that I cannot possibly ascend them! Best we just go home and have a quiet evening in. Pip, pip. Cheerio.
I’m not sure why they became 1920’s British gentry here, but I’m really sick today, so you’re going to have to roll with me on this one. Anyhow, I digress. My point was, it’s all Super Bowl all the time around here. I’m happy for everyone that’s excited, but I’m really more of a Quidditch person. And I’ve been asked precisely 2027 times what I’m doing for the Super Bowl. Every time, I’m like:
IDK. Probably catch up on The Magicians. Oh, and I’m gonna put my yarn on sale. Also, I’ll probably eat some cheese that day.
It seems to really bother people. They honestly can’t understand why I’m not stoked. I get that to a degree. I don’t get why they aren’t more excited about yarn. The point is, I can respect their love of the game and, I guess, also greased poles.
The thing I really just can’t wrap my head around is Groundhog Day. Not only am in in the eye of the Super Bowl storm, but I live in the same state as Punxsutawney Phil. Sure, it’s fun to have fun, but he doesn’t even wear a top hat! All the dudes that handle him do, but he doesn’t. No one could make him a tiny top hat? The movie is amazing, but I will not get on board for the actual Punxsutawaney Phil until they get him his own top hat.
Also, how do we actually know if he sees his shadow? Does he turn to the guy next to him and pen a weather report? No! He doesn’t! He is a rodent and not a meteorologist. Listen, I’m in the yarn business. Six more weeks of winter is actually good for me. People like yarn best when they are cold. But I won’t be bossed around by a ridiculous little mammal that basically looks like a beaver that couldn’t commit.
About a week ago, Jac and I were talking about plans for the month and she asked if I wanted to do a Super Bowl sale, and I figured we should. Because, even though I don’t get into the whole thing, I want people that do to know I’m celebrating how much they like celebrating. I support your sports-balls. Then, she asked if I wanted to do a promotion if Phil sees his shadow. I’m not proud of how loud or intense I got in response. Because the sun is out. If WE have shadows, so will Phil. There’s no mystery. If it’s light enough for the guy walking up to his little hog-hole to have a shadow, so will Phil. I won’t perpetuate the lie! He ‘saw his shadow’ today, but I want you to know you’d have gotten the sale either way. Through Sunday all of our Fandom Yarn is on sale to celebrate the Super Bowl and groundhogs, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Hehehe. Greased poles.