So apparently this is what happens when I clean up the stash. ;)
I can’t even begin to tell you how thrilled we are to announce that I have perfected human cloning, and soon my own little llama will be joining us. Plus, as an added bonus, Stormageddon Lord of All* was thoughtful enough to plan his/her entrance in the winter so I can go crazy making baby sweaters in advance. I’ve already got the baby blanket well underway, in Tardis Blue of course. I’m rocking out with Baah Yarn La Jolla in London Blue and the pattern is Feather & Fan by Eugen Beugler.
This has been a pretty crazy ride for Kevin and me. We were married in 2012 and wanted children right away, but we married knowing that having kids “the old fashioned way” may not be on the table because of my severe Endometriosis. We had discussed options before we were even engaged, primarily adoption. But we really haven’t shared this publicly before. It occurs to me that even members of my own family are finding out about it here for the first time. Ultimately, I decided to write about it today, along with the baby announcement, because like many others struggling with infertility, I experienced the bittersweet feelings of other’s baby announcements. I was thrilled for friends and family that announced pregnancies, but at the same time it’s impossible not to feel a little pang of “why not me?”
Most of my friends and family didn’t know that Kevin and I had been trying to conceive for years, and before I found out I was pregnant, we had begun seriously exploring adoption. I took this year off of school so that we could get our house and finances in order to begin that process. If people asked about babies, I would tell them we weren’t trying or that the timing was bad or that I was focusing on school/Lattes & Llamas/etc… But the truth is, it was just too hard for me to talk about. I knew what my options were and the idea of rehashing it with each new person that found out, hurt more than I can convey with words.
The CDC estimates that 1 in 8 couples experience trouble conceiving, and that’s why I wanted to get real for a few paragraphs. I don’t usually like to get quite this personal with things here, but I also wanted to acknowledge any of you that have had to deal with infertility, I get what you’re going through, and for what it’s worth I’m sending you an internet hug right now. You are not alone.
As per usual, I’m going to deflect my feelings now with yarn. Here’s a tiny elephant I’m making for my tiny overlord!
In the end, we didn’t do anything special to conceive. This pregnancy caught us both completely by surprise. The first few months were pretty rough, but the 2nd trimester is living up to its reputation of being much easier. The baby and I are both progressing well. Of course, that is if you don’t count the fact that I’m fighting the urge to buy EVERY SKEIN OF YARN and baby pattern book ever written, but we’ll see how long that kind of willpower lasts. Lazerwolf loves cashmere almost as much as s/he loves thin crust mushroom pizza.
*Kevin and I have actually decided to refer to the baby as Lazerwolf until we make the final name decision, which might also be Lazerwolf. Sorry not sorry, Mom.